When having relationship problems, you need to actually startopening up to yourself, because there is a very major part of ourselves that we're not aware of. What we have failed to see about ourselves is a majorportion of our lives, and that has to be unveiled and has to experienced.Amma Bhagavan's grace will help you unveil it and help you experience it.
People also must know that they're not being subjected to apunishment or some kind of mental torture. It is more like a healingprocess to help them. This knowledge can help you to actually experience the whole process without resisting or fighting it.
Every time you go through a relationship problem, you actually getto see more of yourself. It's not that you're getting to see somethingabout the other person, you're only getting to see that side of you that is hurt, that which wants love, which wants attention, which cannot forgive, whichis not accepted, which feels rejected.
It is these things that you aregetting to see about yourself when going through a relationship problem.It is something that you have to process through, otherwisehow long can this be kept swept under the carpet--how long can this besuppressed? You have to let Divine Grace put you throughthis. Please know full well that you are not being judged or condemnedby the Divine when you're being put through such a process. You are onlybeing helped. This is a healing process to help you grow in relationship with the Divine, and grow in love and joy.As you start accepting all this within yourself, you are trulyfinally accepting the other person also. All of us tend to think thattalking with the other person, or reasoning with them, or applying some principle is going to help us. That is not the truth. You can onlyknow and accept the resistance you have to that relationship.
When you say you have a relationship problem, please understand that you are not having a problem with the relationship or the other person, youare only having a problem within yourself. You are only having a problem accepting all this reality about yourself--that you may be a person who craves attention, who has still not forgiven, who feels guilty about your past, or whois unable to stop hating someone, etc.
The other person is immaterial, and who he or she is isn't what ismaking you uncomfortable. How you experience him or her within you is the cause of your relationship problem. And that is what has to beexperienced. So in every crisis you are only getting to see more ofyourself. It has nothing to do with the otherperson.As you start facing the truth of your own resistance, it starts the melting of it under the heat of yourawareness.