How to discover joy in relationships?

Q: Bhagavan, kindly tell me how to experience the suffering of the other as vividly as I do my own?
Bhagavan: Very often you try to explain away your suffering. You try to understand. If on the other hand, you stop doing these things, experiencing automatically happens. Let us say, you are married and your wife is shouting at you, and if you have read a lot of books on psychology you would try to explain her behaviour, or would be busy trying to understand her. If you do neither of these, then you actually begin to experience her nagging. That is when something very strange and beautiful happens. It is only in the absence of explanations, judgements that we could experience another. That's why in the Movement many have learnt to experience each other. Hitherto they complained about the nagging of the husband or the wife, today they are in ecstasy the moment the nagging begins. Hitherto they would run away from their homes, but now they don't. You could very well start with your intimate relationships.
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